I have been into a situation which I find it very hard to deal with, when I knew about something I don’t want figure out and when I had to listen to something I don’t want to hear. It was the biggest fear I had and I found myself in a state of paranoia when I learned it. I could not bear it when I had to face it. Teardrops kept falling from my eyes and I just could not hide it. I felt so weak, confused and quite miserable on what was happening. I was not ready yet but I had to look at it intently as it was something that was inevitable and I anticipated that longed before.
Like everyone else who belongs in a medical field, it is never easy to deal with such situation when someone we know is in critical condition. Sometimes it is pretty much easier to say it or to do an intervention for patient not related to us but it gets so much difficult when it is our loved ones or it is us who has to deal with the same given situation as we tend to get so paranoid and put so much exaggeration on what would be the expected outcome.
My father had to be admitted for an observation when he just came in at first for a visit in my workplace and turned out to be a consultation when he made complaints of left upper abdominal pain. Certain abnormality on the electrocardiography reading was found out when he got an ST-elevation and so was advised for admission. I did not doubt it when I knew he had uncontrolled hypertension. He was initially diagnosed with Ischemic heart disease and there was an added burden when he got positive on troponine-I which is a common indicator of occlusion or some sort of a vein damage depending on the individual heart condition which led or may even lead to heart stroke.
When I was there, I just could not let go of any negative thoughts and I tend to worry so much that I got easily frustrated on what was happening. I felt the need to end it up and wished that it was over. I heard different side stories from different doctors and nurses I had talked to and all of which gave me negative thoughts and feelings. Still, in spite all that, I hold on to my faith and on to my prayers that everything would be soon alright… It was only then when I felt the joy seeing patients from the hospital who are cured after the confinement that I even wished that we were like them. Being committed from this profession as a nurse, that was the first time I appreciate patient being discharged and recovered. Before, I have seen it as ordinary hospital scenario but from then, I felt happiness as I watch patients together with their loved ones going out of the hospital vicinity fully recovered.
There’s no presenting symptoms yet of why he had that abdominal pain. But we found significant findings from his ultrasound but not related to his chief complaint. He was admitted for five days but was not given appropriate intervention. The signs and symptoms were not enough to completely diagnose my father. He was given maintenance for his hypertension and was given proper medications for his other illness. Only the cholelithiasis which cannot be treated by medications, it should be done through surgical intervention, luckily it was just an elective.
I would like to thank all my coworkers from Mt. Carmel for helping me out to sustain all the financial needs of my father during the course of confinement. Thanks so much to my friends and relatives for being there as well. It would never be this easy to deal this difficult situation without these people supporting us. I will never forget the good things all of these people done for me and for my family.
He was discharged and went back home to Manila. However, his illness attacked him again two weeks later and was brought to the nearest emergency room. Good thing I was there when it happened. This time, significant signs and symptoms appeared and so he was given proper diagnosis. But for some reasons, we had to get him back to our hometown to be confined there and that was for the second time. He was even referred to the Philippine Heart Center for angiogram. But we tried to set aside first the issue regarding his heart condition. We need to treat first the internal bleeding from his upper intestine. And by the grace of God, everything turned out fine. However, there should be strict compliance on medication and other treatment regimen.
With his prostate gland enlargement, thank God, it was just a benign and not a malignant cancer so it can still be treated with continues medications. His cholelithiasis, however, we need to make a preparation for surgical intervention, which can be done, anytime but not immediate. He is still for angiogram but we are not financially prepared for that, so for now, he takes certain medications for his maintenance. But we never set aside the fact we have to do all the necessary procedures sooner or later.
For now we have to stick on what we have right now and on what we can do. We are still trying to surpass all these things and by the grace of God we are still standing. I knew God never left us during those times and I knew He would always be there for us. With all the prayers made, everything is better now.
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theweza
